3.
2B INT. HARRY'S ROOM - SAME TIME - NIGHT 2B
The light in the hallway SNAPS on, Harry's tent droops
once more and, seconds later, Harry's door eases open.
Uncle Vernon peers in and switches on the light. The
room is utterly SILENT. Slowly, he closes the door.
3 OMITTED 3
thru thru
5 5
6 INT. FOUR PRIVET DRIVE - STAIRWAY/FRONT HALL - DAY 6
The DOORBELL CHIMES and a shrill VOICE THUNDERS:
AUNT PETUNIA (O.S.)
Harry!
Harry!
Harry bounds down the stairs and into the front hall,
where his AUNT PETUNIA and cousin DUDLEY stand stiffly.
Petunia flicks a bit of fluff from Dudley's sweater,
glowers crossly at Harry, and jerks her head toward the
door.
AUNT PETUNIA
Well, go on. Open it.
Harry reaches for the knob when -- BLAM! -- it BURSTS
OPEN, revealing a LARGE, WADDLING WOMAN (AUNT MARGE) and
a LARGE WADDLING BULLDOG (RIPPER). Uncle Vernon lurches
forward out of the teeming RAIN, an ENORMOUS SUITCASE in
hand, and drops it on Harry.
AUNT PETUNIA
Marge! Welcome! How was the
train?
AUNT MARGE
Wretched. Ripper got sick.
AUNT PETUNIA
Ah. How... unfortunate.
AUNT MARGE
I would've left him with the
others, but he pines so when I'm
away. Don't you, darling?
Aunt Marge puckers her lips at Ripper and leads him down
the hallway. Harry follows with Uncle Vernon.
(CONTINUED)
4.
6 CONTINUED: 6
HARRY
Uncle Vernon. I need you to sign
this form.
UNCLE VERNON
What is it?
HARRY
Nothing. Something for school...
Uncle Vernon eyes the PARCHMENT in Harry's hand
suspiciously.
UNCLE VERNON
Later perhaps. If you behave.
HARRY
I will if she does.
AUNT MARGE
(turning, eyeing Harry)
So. Still here, are you?
HARRY
Yes.
AUNT MARGE
Don't say 'yes' in that ungrateful
tone. Damn good of my brother to
keep you, if you ask me.
(to Vernon, Petunia)
It'd have been straight to an
orphanage if he'd been dumped on
my doorstep.
Just then Dudley -- sitting comatose before the TV --
emits a HOLLOW, BRAIN-DEAD CHUCKLE.
AUNT MARGE
Is that my Dudders! Hm? Is that
my neffy poo? Come and say hello
to your Auntie Marge.
Marge flashes a thick FAN of POUND NOTES. Dudley blinks,
waddles forward, and extends his plump palm obediently.
Harry looks on, then sees Ripper snuffling about his
ankle.
7 INT. FOUR PRIVET DRIVE - DINING ROOM - DUSK 7
As Harry clears the dishes, Uncle Vernon brings out a
bottle of brandy.
(CONTINUED)
5.
7 CONTINUED: 7
UNCLE VERNON
Can I tempt you, Marge?
AUNT MARGE
Just a small one. A bit more... a
bit more... That's the boy.
(taking a
sloppy sip)
Aah. Excellent nosh, Petunia.
It's normally just a fry-up for
me, what with twelve dogs.
She smacks her lips, lowers her brandy, and lets Ripper
take a slobbery lap out of the glass... then catches
Harry looking.
AUNT MARGE
What are you smirking at! Where
is it that you send him, Vernon?
UNCLE VERNON
St. Brutus's. It's a first-rate
institution for hopeless cases.
Hearing this, Harry frowns, glances at Uncle Vernon, who
glares darkly at him.
AUNT MARGE
I see. And do they use the cane
at St. Brutus's, boy?
HARRY
(sarcastically)
Oh, yes. I've been beaten loads
of times.
AUNT MARGE
Excellent. I won't have this
namby-pamby wishy-washy nonsense
about not hitting people who
deserve it.
(another sip)
Still. Mustn't blame yourself for
how this one's turned out, Vernon.
It all comes down to blood. Bad
blood will out. What is it the
boy's father did, Petunia?
AUNT PETUNIA
(agitated)
Nothing. That is... he didn't
work. He was -- unemployed.
(CONTINUED)
6.
7 CONTINUED: (2) 7
AUNT MARGE
Of course. And a drunk,
I expect --
HARRY
That's a lie.
Aunt Marge pauses on her wine, eyes narrowing on Harry.
AUNT MARGE
What did you say?
HARRY
My dad wasn't a drunk.
POP! The GLASS in Aunt Marge's hand EXPLODES.
AUNT PETUNIA
Oh my goodness! Marge!
AUNT MARGE
Not to worry, Petunia. I have a
very firm grip.
Harry stares at the shattered glass in surprise.
UNCLE VERNON
You go to bed. Now.
AUNT MARGE
Quiet, Vernon. It doesn't matter
about the father. In the end it
comes down to the mother. You see
it all the time with dogs. If
there's something wrong with the
bitch, there'll be something wrong
with the pup...
HARRY
Shut up! Shut up!
Aunt Marge starts to reply, when -- ZING! -- a BUTTON on
her dress sails into the air. SEAMS GROAN. THREAD
SNAPS. Aunt Marge's eyes WIDEN. Her cheeks BILLOW. Her
whole body BILLOWS. And she begins to INFLATE like a
MONSTROUS BALLOON.
UNCLE VERNON
MARGE!
As she rises, Uncle Vernon leaps for her. RIPPER GROWLS,
fixes his teeth to his trousers. Harry frightened by
what he's done, watches Aunt Marge BOUNCE GENTLY across
the ceiling and into the CONSERVATORY.
7.
7A EXT. BACK YARD - CONTINUOUS ACTION - DUSK 7A
The others race outside. As Aunt Marge begins to float
away, Uncle Vernon grips her hands.
UNCLE VERNON
Don't worry! I've got you...
Slowly... to his horror... Uncle Vernon himself begins to
RISE. Aunt Marge looks fearfully into his eyes...
AUNT MARGE
Vernon. Don't you dare --
But he does. He lets go. Falls to his knees. And
watches Aunt Marge float away.
8 INT. HARRY'S ROOM - DUSK (SECONDS LATER) 8
Harry crashes inside, takes his TRUNK, then puts his heel
to a LOOSE FLOORBOARD and removes his WAND from its
hiding place. Turning, he grabs the PHOTOGRAPH of his
parents.
9 INT. HALLWAY - DUSK (SECONDS LATER) 9
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Harry tows the TRUNK down the
stairs... finds Uncle Vernon waiting for him.
UNCLE VERNON
YOU BRING HER BACK! YOU BRING HER
BACK AND PUT HER RIGHT!
HARRY