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GROWING IN SELF-CONTROL

By Andy Manning

2 Peter 1:3-7

INTRODUCTION

The title of this sermon is “Growing in Self-Control.”

Proverbs 25:28 (NLT) “A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls.”

Pastor Tommy Nelson said, “You cannot succeed in life when you can’t control those passions

that can dishonor, discredit, and destroy your life.” That’s only partially true. You can achieve

some level of success, but not true success, and the success that you do achieve won’t last for

long. Eventually your lack of self-control will take you down.

What do these people have in common? Perry Noble. Michael Lukazewski. Tullian Tchividian.

Darren Patrick. Bill Hybels. Ted Haggard. R.C. Sproul Jr. Doug Phillips. Bill Gothard. Bob Coy.

John Bishop. You may not be as familiar with these names. These are the names of

People lack self-control in different areas. Sexual immorality; pornography; a quick temper; a

dirty mouth; materialism; drugs; alcohol; food; sleep; television; social media.

All of us need to grow in self-control. Nobody has arrived. Pastor Charles Swindoll wrote,

“Every one of us has gotten angry and lost our temper, only to regret it. Every one of us has

allowed our schedule to get so overloaded that, looking back over the week, we must admit to

ourselves, if we're honest, we've not stopped to pray even once. Every one of us has eaten too

much, even when we swore we wouldn't. Who hasn't fought yet again the old battle with lust

or greed or materialism or anger or envy? There is an answer to this daily dilemma, a solution

that is easy to identify. There is a secret to holding back. Self-control . . . that's the key . . . that's

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WHAT IS SELF-CONTROL?

It can be called self-discipline; self-mastery; the moral muscle; mind over body; impulse control;

mastery over your passions and impulses. But what is it? Self-control is doing what is right,

even when you don’t feel like it.

I want to focus on the word “feelings” for a moment. Self-control is about letting God’s Spirit

Characterlab.org says that self-control is “Doing what’s best in the long-run despite short-term

temptations.” Often what you want in the moment is not what’s best in the long-run. Self-

control is about delayed gratification. It’s about denying yourself what would be most

pleasurable and most comfortable in the moment, for what would be most pleasurable and

rewarding in the long run.

Focusonthefamily.com says, “Self-control is the discipline of delaying impulse or gratification

for a greater purpose or cause. When we exercise self-control, we are saying "no" for the sake

of a bigger and better "yes." We are trading something in the here and now for something

Galatians 5:22-23 “22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,

goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control.” Notice that self-control is the last fruit

of the Spirit mentioned. I don’t think that is by accident. Self-control is the perhaps the most

important virtue, because it is the sign of maturity. It is about doing the right thing even when

it is hard, even when you don’t feel like it. Anyone can be kind to a nice person; self-control is

being kind to a mean person. Anyone can be patient, until they have to wait. Anyone can say

no to ice cream, as long as they have a full belly and a bunch of people are watching. But it

takes self-control to say no to ice cream when you are hungry and home alone.

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Pastor J. R. Miller said of self-control, “This is the sum of all learning and experience. It is the

completeness of all spiritual culture. The man in us is only part a man—while we are not master

of ourselves.”

Self-control is the essence of true spiritual maturity. You’re spiritually strong until you have

self-control. Pastor J. R. Miller said, “Self-control is self-mastery. It is kingship over all life. At

the center of your being, sits yourself. Your seat ought to be a throne. If you are not in control,

The ancient philosopher Plato said, “The first and best victory is to conquer self.” Self-control is

all about self-mastery. It is about conquering yourself. Do you know who your worst enemy is?

It’s not the devil. It’s not other people. It’s not your parents or your siblings. Your worst

enemy is you. If you can conquer yourself, gaining mastery over your emotions, your desires,

your urges, your impulses, then you could achieve anything God wants you to achieve. Self-

control is all about getting control of yourself, so that you can get yourself out of the way, so

that God can move through you to accomplish His will.

Jean Paul Getty said, "The individual who wants to reach the top in business must appreciate

whether that instinct is for something bad or against something that is good for us.”

Little

children live by instinct. They do not think about what’s best, or what’s wise, or what’s

healthiest, or what’s pleasing to God. They do not think in the long-term. They want what they

want, and they want it now. But God wants us to grow up. And that means that God wants us

live by reason rather than instinct. He wants us to do what’s best, what is right, what is wise,

what is righteous, what is loving, rather than what is quick, pleasurable, and comfortable, and

easy.

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Pastor J. R. Miller said, “Nothing is more pitiful—than a life which is made to be strong, kingly,

noble, calm, and peaceful—but which is, instead, the slave of every excitement, every temper,

every resentment, every appetite and passion.”

How many people have never fulfilled their potential because of a lack of self-control? How

many people’s lives have been cut short by a lack of self-control? How many people have

destroyed their bodies because of a lack of self-control? How many people have wrecked their

slave to your mood, to your emotions, to your feelings, to your desires.

WHY DO WE NEED SELF-CONTROL?

Jesus said in John 10:10 that He came to give you an abundant life. But an abundant life is not

possible without self-control. To live an abundant life, you must exercise self-control in the

following areas.

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THE BENEFITS OF SELF-CONTROL

What happens when we develop self-control? We get to enjoy six benefits or rewards.

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The best life is lived in submission to Christ. But submitting to Christ requires self-control. It

requires saying no to your desires and impulses and urges and emotions, and yes to the Word

of God.

Luke 9:23 “If anyone wants to follow after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily, and

follow me.”

The more we develop self-control, the more we will submit to Christ and enjoy all the benefits

of the Christian life.

Self-control is a requirement for success in anything in life. And so one of the benefits and

rewards of cultivating self-control is that you will become a more successful person.

John Maxwell wrote a book about the laws of growth, and he said that the law that is most

want to achieve. Discipline is what matters, not desire. Don’t tell me what your goals are, tell

me what your daily disciplines are to achieve those goals.

Brian Tracy said, “The single most important quality of success is self-discipline. Self-discipline

means that you have the ability, within yourself, based on your strength of character and

willpower, to do what you should do, when you should do it, whether you feel like it or not.

Character is the ability to follow through on a resolution after the enthusiasm with which the

resolution was made has passed. It is not what you learn that is decisive for your future. It is

whether or not you can discipline yourself to pay the price, over and over, until you finally

obtain your objective.”

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How do you feel about yourself? How you feel about yourself plays a big role in your

happiness, your relationships, and in many other areas. A lot of people feel bad about

themselves. They don’t like themselves. They are ashamed of themselves. Embarrassed of

themselves. Where do you get self-confidence and self-esteem? It’s not from other people not

criticizing you. It’s not from people telling you that you’re great when you’re not. Self-

confidence and self-esteem come from self-control.

self-respect is the chief element in courage.”

A fourth benefit of self-control is spiritual growth. To grow spiritually you have to practice

spiritual disciplines such as a daily quiet time, weekly church attendance, tithing, Home Group,

volunteering. 1 Timothy 4:7 (AMP) “Discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness [keeping

yourself spiritually fit].” If you are not growing it is because you are not disciplined. But as you

develop self-control, you will be able to be more and more consistent with spiritual disciplines,

and you will grow more and more.

Thomas Aquinas, the famous medieval philosopher and theologian, said that self-control is the

ability to preserve your life. In other words, it is the ability to do those things that lead to life

and health rather than to pain and death.

The great psychiatrist M. Scott Peck said, “Self-discipline is self-caring.” Self-control is

developing the strength to do what’s best for yourself, because as you do God’s will, you will be

doing what’s best for you.

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Without self-control you will struggle with sin; you will struggle with your health; you will

struggle with your finances; you will struggle with your job performance; you will struggle with

your academic performance; you will develop a reputation as a lazy, unreliable,

underperformer. You will not be happy. You will not be satisfied with your life.

But as you develop self-control, you will be doing those things that are best for you, and for

short run; it may involve more pain and effort in the short term. But in the long-term, you will

be happier.

6 FACTS ABOUT SELF-CONTROL

2 Peter 1:3-7 teaches us several important facts about self-control.

Verse 3 “His divine power has given us everything required for life and godliness through the

knowledge of him….” In verse three it says that God has given us everything we need to be

godly – to be like Christ – and then verse six tells us to cultivate self-control. So that means that

self-control is something that you can do. It’s not just for some people. You can cultivate self-

control. You can become a disciplined person.

Verses 5-6 “5 For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with… self-

control,”

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Not only is it within reach. But God commands us to cultivate self-control. God demands that

you become a self-controlled, self-disciplined person.

Verse 5-6 “For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with… self-control,”

You can develop self-control. And you are commanded to. But that doesn’t mean it is going to

be easy. Self-control takes hard work. It takes all your effort. You have to want it more than

anything else.

Self-control is placed in a list of virtues that we know take time to cultivate, and in fact that we

are supposed to continue to cultivate until we go to heaven. Faith, goodness, knowledge,

endurance, godliness -- these virtues are not obtained instantly, and neither is self-control.

If self-control takes time to cultivate, then that means you need to keep working at. Don’t get

discouraged and give up when you fail.

You will fail often. But failure is not a sign that you cannot grow in self-control. It is a reminder

that you need to grow. It is a reminder that it takes time. But you cannot grow if you give up.

Pastor J.R. Miller said, “How can we get the mastery over ourselves? It is not attained by a

mere resolve. We cannot simply assert our self-mastery, and then have it. We cannot put self-

control on the throne, by a mere proclamation. It is an achievement which must be won by